 6 years old Alejandro learning the alphabet. We all need symbols and signs to help us orient ourselves in an unfamiliar culture or a multicultural environment: symbols of social and economical status, or signs that someone is kind, indifferent or aggressive. We also need quite often, within our social and cultural system, an "object" upon which we project our fears, insecurities and anxieties. In the so-called civilized societies, these show-offs and projections are many times very subtle, due to self-censorship. The following true story is an example of what happens when that censorship does not function. I live in the highly liberal, multicultural and all inclusive San Francisco Bay Area, but my own darker skin had sometimes stimulated the clichés, and the cultural and emotional illiteracy of some of my fellow Americans. The following conversation, between me and a white skin, blonde woman in her 30s, occurred in front of a high-end hotel & restaurant where I was invited to a party. I have to specify first that in San Francisco the Limo driving industry employs mostly people of Middle Eastern origin. Woman: Do you have a cigarette? Are you a driver (low voice, almost mysterious).
Me (offering her a cigarette): Do I look like a driver? W: Well ... I was just asking. Are you? Me (with a joking tone): In what sense you were "just asking"? Why didn't you ask me, for example, if I am a lawyer? W (puffing with disdain): Because I am a lawyer, I know you can't be a lawyer. So, are you a driver?.. At this point I want to believe it is a misunderstanding, but there is no doubt whatsoever: she judges me by my arab look and assumes that I am a limo driver. I don't answer her question and decide to giver her another chance. Me (laughing, referring to the fact that she seems to have been drinking a little too much and had no intention to stop): I think you definitely need a driver! It seems, however, that the length and complexity of our dialog have fatigued her, because she turns her back on me, smoking, forgetting to say thank you for the cigarette I just gave her. Suddenly she remembers her mantra and throws over her shoulder: W: Tell me if you are a driver. We need a driver! Me: No, but I'm something you desperately need. W: Really?!. What? Her sarcasm is reaching a climax right there. Me: A Cultural Intelligence consultant. I am a Cultural Intelligence consultant.
8 Comments
3/19/2014 09:59:56 pm
HELLO COSMIN ! Your story reminded me something that happpened to me in the US (Baltimore, I guess) some years ago. After attending the Mess all of us went to the basement for a coffee and crackers, mainly to have a chat among other participants. My friend introduced me to a man , saying : " This is Roberto "from Brazil" . The man looked at me, went back one step, looked me from head to feet, and said : " You aren't from Brazil, YOU AREN'T AN INDIAN ! " I looked at him and asked : " Where are you from ? " He answered hitting his chest with his fist : " I'm American ". So I decided to ask him : " What language do you speak ? " He answered touching his chest, again : " English ! " I turned to ask him : " What OTHER language do you speak ? " Hitting his chest , again he said : " English ! " Then I told him in a humble way : THE INDIAN HERE SPEAKS FOUR LANGUAGES.
Cosmin
3/20/2014 02:10:31 pm
Hello Roberto, 4/12/2014 01:03:18 am
Roberto, that was priceless. The striking of the chest might indicate that this "American" gentleman believes in the superiority of the U.S. and English. Kudos to you for asking what "other" language he spoke and sarcastically referring to yourself as "the Indian here." 4/12/2014 01:10:01 am
Cosmin, it is sad but true, but even in a non-drunken state, people have mistaken some Latin American women for the "maid" or the "waitress" even though they were dressed in a suit and were the keynote speakers for conferences. They often think that "just asking" will soften the insulting nature of their assumptions.
Cosmin
10/28/2015 05:37:56 pm
Hi Lori, 4/12/2014 03:42:31 am
HELLO , AGAIN , MR. COSMIN AND MR. NOLASCO . Thanks for the kind words and deep comprehension about the prejudice that can affect some people, in disfavour of themselves . It also happened to me in the US to be asked some notorious weird questions. The solution is to "forgive and forget" not to be obliged to give a "Cultural answer" as you did. I wish you the best. robertodib.ingles@uol.com.br ¨¨¨¨www.inglestreinamento.com 4/12/2014 03:43:06 am
HELLO , AGAIN , MR. COSMIN AND MR. NOLASCO . Thanks for the kind words and deep comprehension about the prejudice that can affect some people, in disfavour of themselves . It also happened to me in the US to be asked some notorious weird questions. The solution is to "forgive and forget" not to be obliged to give a "Cultural answer" as you did. I wish you the best. robertodib.ingles@uol.com.br 4/12/2014 03:43:15 am
HELLO , AGAIN , MR. COSMIN AND MR. NOLASCO . Thanks for the kind words and deep comprehension about the prejudice that can affect some people, in disfavour of themselves . It also happened to me in the US to be asked some notorious weird questions. The solution is to "forgive and forget" not to be obliged to give a "Cultural answer" as you did. I wish you the best. Leave a Reply. |
Cosmin Gheorghe"You never draw out of the deep of yourself that which you want; you always draw that which you are." Archives
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